Sticks and stones

As a former victim of bullying, this week's lesson on cyber-bullying was emotionally draining. Thankfully, I went through school before the explosion of social media and the cyber-bullying that inevitably came with it. Cyber-bullying is unique because of "the speed at which information is distributed, permanence of material and availability of victims". (Brewer, 2015). The words that were said to me, luckily, only lasted in from 1999 to 2000 and didn't follow me for years to come like the abuse that happens online today. The group of students that made my life hell was only a select few and didn't spread to strangers through the ease of the internet. While my school did pride themselves on a "zero tolerance" for bullying, the enforcement of this rule was another thing. The teacher turned her back and often laughed at the taunts. I was a poster child for the type of person who would be more likely to be bullied, I had low self-esteem and was often lonely and when I had the opportunity, I would turn my pain on to others by bullying those who were even lower on the social totem-pole.

When I was in school, bullying just was something that happened at school. When you got home, the abuse from peers stopped and you were allowed to lick your wounds and prepare for next day. Today, "cyber-bullying is not restricted to one communication type and may involve a range of technologies such as email, instant messaging or personal websites." (Brewer, 2015). The abuse doesn't stop when you get home, the break never comes. This is not an anomaly in the school system, according to Deseret News, "13 million schoolchildren nationwide were bullied electronically during the past school year" and according to Siegle, "47% of teenagers surveyed have experienced digitally abusive behavior." (Siegle, 2010).

Educators and schools need to develop a climate that walks-the-walk and talks-the-talk about being an anti-bullying environment. The first step to this is promoting awareness. Projects like Ryan's Story, that brings awareness to the dangers in cyber-bullying and its lasting effect are crucial in starting the dialogue between students, teachers, parents, and administrators. Students also needs to be informed about the legal consequences of cyber-bullying as some of the behavior can cross into illegal actions. The school must provide a safe space that allows students the opportunity to report incidents of bullying, of any kind, in a way that is comfortable and responsive. Districts need to provide training for teachers in the area of social and emotional learning. Teachers are the first line of defense in many bullying and cyber-bullying cases. They need to develop skills in building relationships with their students in order to "combat feelings of unimportance, promote connectedness and belongingness, and to reinforce critical feelings of trust, mutual respect, and safety. (Hinduja & Patchin, 2015).

After hearing and reading about Ryan Patrick Halligan, my heart breaks for his family and the pain he must have felt at the end of his life. I sit here wondering if I had gone through school a few years later as the internet and social media took off, would my story have ended in a way that was similar to Ryan. Did the lack of social media save my life? The bullying that I experienced was one of the main reasons I got into education to begin with. I wanted to be the teacher that I needed in school. I wanted to help protect the "me" in the class. As a leader in the school, it's important that I share my story with my students so they know they are not alone and it does get better.

Resources:

Brewer, G., & Kerslake, J. (2015). Cyberbullying, self-esteem, empathy and loneliness. Computers in Human Behavior, 48, 255-260. Brewer_Cyberbullying_Self-esteem_Empathy_Loneliness.pdf

Deseret News. (2006). Schoolyard bullying has gone high-tech. Deseret News. Retrieved from https://www.deseret.com/2006/8/18/19969197/schoolyard-bullying-has-gone-high-tech

Hinduja, S. & Patchin, J.W. (2015). Developing a positive school climate: Top ten tips to prevent bullying and cyberbullying. Cyberbullying Research Center. Hinduja_Patchin_School-Climate-Top-Ten-Tips-To-Prevent-Cyberbullying.pdf

Siegle, D.(2010). Cyberbullying and sexting: Technology abuses of the 21st century. Gifted Child Today, 32(2), 14-16, 65. Siegle_Cyberbullying_and_Sexting.pdf

School Assemblies | Ryan's Story Presentation. (2020, December 09). Retrieved from https://www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org